Every time I planned a vacation, my wife got sick, so I decided to be smart and teach her a lesson.

In a world where routine often keeps us trapped, I secretly planned a vacation to reconnect with nature and teach my wife Valerie a lesson in understanding and empathy. But the outcome was far from what I expected. Hi everyone, this is Alan. I have a quirky but insightful story to share about my wife Valerie and a peculiar pattern I’ve observed over the years. But first, let’s go back to the basics. Valerie and I met in an adult Spanish evening class, not through a whimsical, movie-like scene, but through a simple request for a pen. That small interaction sparked conversations, shared dinners, and eventually a deep and loving relationship. In time, we married, ready to face life’s challenges together. I was determined to be a supportive husband, and Valerie chose to stay home—a role she embraced wholeheartedly. However, there is a twist to our seemingly perfect family life. I work in a demanding job that often requires more than the usual 40 hours per week and sometimes intrudes on my personal life. Nevertheless, I always look forward to my vacation days because I see them as precious moments to unwind and recharge. But mysteriously, every time I plan a break, Valerie gets sick. GoodTherapy | How to Stop Anxiety from Destroying Relatio…

Here’s a typical scenario: The day before a planned vacation that we planned together well in advance, Valerie is suddenly struck with an illness that often leaves her bedridden and in need of care. This recurring pattern has cost me many planned rest breaks, and although Valerie always seemed genuinely apologetic, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated and disappointed. One incident stands out in my memory in particular when Valerie, completely exhausted and in pain, tearfully begged forgiveness for ruining yet another vacation day. All I could do was offer comfort and suppress my disappointment while tending to their needs. The recent incident really made me reevaluate our situation. I came home, looking forward to a few days off, only to find that Valerie was incapacitated by severe back pain, which she attributed to a full day of cleaning. However, while tending to the kids’ homework, the truth inadvertently came out. Emma, ​​our daughter, casually mentioned that her mother had been playing a farm game online all day instead of cleaning as she had claimed. This revelation was a turning point. It wasn’t just about a day lost to virtual farming; it was the recognition of a pattern that made me question the dynamic of our relationship.

How could I have missed the signs? The clues were clearly in front of me, revealed by my own children. Determined to address this without getting into an argument, I planned another vacation, but took a different approach. I kept the details secret, hoping to break the cycle of Valerie’s mysterious suffering. I didn’t tell anyone about my days off; instead, I prepared quietly, setting out early in the morning with my fishing gear without waking Valerie. The morning was perfect. The sun was shining and the air was fresh—a promising start to a profoundly peaceful fishing trip. I spent two days in solitude, surrounded by nature, which invigorated my spirit and gave me much-needed clarity. When I returned, I found Valerie healthy and active, a stark contrast to the fragile state she often displayed before my solo vacations. My secret trip did not go unnoticed, however. Valerie confronted me, her expression one of confusion and hurt. “You went fishing? For two days? Without telling me?” she demanded, her voice laced with a sense of betrayal. I tried to explain the situation calmly, hoping to convey the depth of my frustration and need for uninterrupted rest. “Valerie, every time I take a break, something happens to you and our plans fall apart. I needed this to just be without worrying or having to change plans,” I explained.