The autumn wind pierced the air, cold rain fell in small drops. The people who came to the cemetery to say goodbye to the deceased shivered and wrapped themselves in scarves and collars. Everyone had one wish: that it would be over quickly.
Only the mother remained standing by the coffin, not noticing either the cold or the rain. The pain tore her inside. It seemed as if her heart would break with despair.
Tears streamed down her sunken, gray cheeks, mingling with the raindrops. Every now and then, she touched her face with a damp handkerchief and looked only at one point in front of her: the closed coffin lid. There, inside it, lay her little boy, her only child, the meaning of her life.
And she couldn’t see him one last time. She couldn’t kiss his closed eyes, his forehead, or his cheeks, or stroke his hands or shoulders. There was nothing she could do.
The coffin was hermetically sealed. She had been told that it had to be this way and that it was better this way. But is it really better now? Life was over.
Beside her mother stood another woman, young and beautiful. Amazingly, her mourning dress fit her perfectly, accentuating her delicate features, a certain aristocratic pallor. Sometimes the woman wiped away her tears with her delicate fingers and sighed deeply.
And yet she didn’t look at the coffin. Her eyes were fixed on the gray sky, her slightly swollen lips murmuring something quietly. Probably farewell words.
People whispered, wondering how such a beautiful woman could become a widow at such a young age, and how unfair that was. And immediately, it was announced that it was time to end the ceremony, as the mother, Tanya, was in danger of collapsing and falling into the grave with her son. But Tatyana heard nothing, she perceived nothing.
She remembered. Images of her past moved through her mind like a kaleidoscope. She felt neither the cold rain nor the wind; only the pain and the memories remained.
She was only 20 years old. She ran to her Andrei to tell him she was expecting a baby, cheerful and happy. It was the beginning of spring, puddles formed beneath her feet, and the sun glinted.
Tanya closed her eyes and smiled. And now she would tell her lover everything, he would take her in his arms, and together they would rush to the registry office to file the registration. It couldn’t be any other way, because Andrei loved her so much.
But it was another girl who opened the door to his apartment, wearing Andrei’s shirt. Tanya said nothing and stepped back. Andrei appeared behind the girl, smiling mockingly.
The girl smiled contemptuously and looked at Tanya. She didn’t know how she managed to escape. She woke up in the dorm.
The girls surrounded her, comforted her, and said Andrei would come back to apologize. But he never came back. Later, she learned that Andrei had married this girl.
Tanya returned to her mother. There, her little ray of sunshine, her light, was born. Tanya was very grateful to her mother for her support and for not disowning her despite the judgments of others.
It was a shame that her daughter became pregnant before completing her studies and that she had dropped out of university. But her mother, a strong woman, knew how to quell gossip. People called her “you” when they saw her, because Maria Stepanovna was not just anyone; she was the chairwoman of the village council.
She herself, a young widow, knew how hard life could be, but she always supported her daughter and told her that she would find happiness anyway. But what additional happiness would Tanja have needed when she already had everything she wanted: her little boy, the meaning of her life? Later, when Sascha was older and started kindergarten, Tanja finished her studies and began working at the school.
Over time, the villagers realized that Tanja wasn’t one of those careless girls. Serious, intelligent, a good mother, she had simply made a mistake. That was nothing.
It happened. Many good men came to ask for her hand in marriage, but Tanja didn’t accept any of them. Because who would want children of their own? She was sure, no one.
She was afraid that a strange man might harm her child. No, it wasn’t worth it…
