If I say no to a family dinner at a fancy restaurant, am I wrong?

It is a common belief that trying to please everyone often results in pleasing no one, including ourselves. An anonymous Reddit contributor learned this the hard way.

In a post on the AITA subreddit, he explained that he was more successful than the rest of his family and frequently traveled abroad for work. Nevertheless, it is important to acknowledge that the contributor’s success and generosity towards his family are admirable qualities that should be celebrated. However, when he was in his hometown, he would treat his family members to dinner, which some may view as an attempt to please them.

On this occasion, there was a change. After being informed of his return, his mother arranged a family meeting at a prestigious steakhouse. She gave him the location and informed him that the family would be waiting for him there.

Upon entering the venue, OP was surprised to find over 20 people in attendance. While family gatherings had previously been limited to around six individuals, all of whom he was familiar with, his mother had extended an invitation to one of OP’s grandmother’s neighbors, whom OP had only met a few times in passing. Although OP had never engaged in conversation with this individual, only exchanging greetings, he appreciated the opportunity to meet new people and expand his social circle.

At that moment, the visitors of the elite restaurant had already ordered several expensive steaks, the cost of which ranged from $80 to $250 per person. While the waiters continued to serve drinks and snacks, the grandmother’s neighbor proposed a toast, noting the kindness of the OP who had treated everyone. This set off an unexpected chain of events.

OP expressed his concern about the unexpected obligation to pay the bill for a large group of people without prior consultation. He estimated that the bill had already exceeded $4,000 and was still growing.

Realizing his family was trying to take advantage of him, OP decided to leave the place.

He left $100 on the table and said, “I’m not paying for dinner,” as he stormed off.

Despite receiving numerous messages, mainly from his mother, OP made the decision to turn off his phone and retire for the night. The following day, he left the country without saying goodbye.

While OP recognized that his handling of the situation was less-than-ideal, he felt devastated that his family had attempted to take advantage of his generosity in a sneaky way.

“I know I’m nta with the dinner but more concerned about my reaction [sic],” he wrote.

After his mother’s insistent requests to call her, he decided to talk to her and apologize for running out of the restaurant like that, holding out an olive branch. Unfortunately, he was met with accusations of selfishness, greed, and disrespect.This came as a shock to OP, who has shown great kindness to his family over the years. Among other things, he gave his mom two cars, repaired the bathroom, replaced the roof, and new appliances, and, on top of that, he fully paid for numerous family vacations.

Due to the accusations made, OP has decided to stop providing assistance to those who failed to appreciate it.

As a result, six AT&T lines, internet services, and streaming accounts have been canceled. The individuals have also been removed from AAA coverage for their cars, their mother’s car insurance coverage has been terminated, and the credit card provided has been canceled.

This decision marked the beginning of the end of funding things for people who never showed any gratitude.

Most of the family members wanted to get involved in the feud, and OP was even uninvited from a cousin’s wedding with the explanation that they wanted to avoid any drama, yet the expectation for a gift remained.

OP believed that he shouldn’t talk to his mother until some time passed by. In the meantime, the discussion about the upcoming family vacation, a once lively topic, now lay dormant.

OP’s mother kept sending her son messages, each more hostile than the other.

One of his nieces, who wasn’t present but heard from a third-party, informed OP that on the day he left the restaurant, the family tried to cancel the rest of the dinner, but with appetizers and drinks already served, they reluctantly split a $700 bill.

That same niece also told OP that the entire family branded him a greedy monster.

As expected, the Redditors unanimously deemed OP “NTA.”

“Everyone else at that table “knew” you were going to be paying for dinner but you. How odd. The position your mom and family put you in was quite disrespectful. And I do not know how you could have reacted better,” one person wrote.

“Your mom was way out of line for all of this. Starting with assuming you’re going to pay, choosing that expensive place, and inviting so many people. She owes you a major apology,” another added.

“Your family invited your neighbors!? Do you even know these people? Wait, it doesn’t even matter. And everybody had drinks and appetizers and steak…Paying for your part and leaving was entirely appropriate. They took advantage of the golden goose and the golden goose left and cut Mama off,” a third commented.

Do you believe OP did the right thing when he decided to stand up for himself?

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