“You’ll always be a little boy to me”: a touching letter to my son from his mother

“Dear Sonny! How I wish I could go back to the time when you were a baby! I’d love to remember the smell of a baby and once again feel what it was like to rock you in my arms… Just once more!

Looking at your baby pictures – such a dense little boy with a lively look, so I want to hear THAT voice of yours!

Watching our sons growing up, lounging with a book on the couch under a fleece blanket, NONE of us thinks that those moments will seem like the kind of happiness we want to return years from now. Before I knew it, that time was gone and irretrievable.

I remember well how you often, not knowing how to convince me anymore, whined: “Mom, listen to me for a second!” I’m sorry, son, I really didn’t have the patience to listen, and you and I often argued a lot. But I know this for myself, and I’m still trying to reeducate myself!

And anyway, you’re still a little boy to me, even though your sneakers are almost the same size as my skis.

Son, how is it that you have managed to become such a nice young man? I’m just proud of you! And thank you for giving me a reason to be proud every day that I am your mother.

Motherhood actually turned out to be a lot more trouble than I could have imagined; and I made a lot of mistakes, just like everyone else. But what you have become is the reward of a lifetime. And with you, I’ve been lucky enough to know what it means to love a close person. Because having a son turned out to be such an exciting, varied, and non-boring thing. I didn’t expect it, and neither did the challenges.

I will always be 24 years older than you. That’s a lot. Really, I think the older you get, the smaller that difference will seem. But you, I hope, will always be my boy, and I your mother; the one whose arms will always hold you, whose heart will always respond to any trouble or request you have.

When I see you as a young, healthy, dignified young man, I think of you as the best gift of my life.

Good luck with everything, son! I love you. Your mother.”

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